Many writers, family psychologists, religious leaders, and talk show hosts have written and talked on how to be a good dad. Many used wrong models, wrong examples, and their own myopic perspectives without critically-thought balances to support their opinions of how to be a good dad. While some opinions about being a good dads are plausible, many perspectives throw some cogent factors into the bin, while examining on being a good dad. There are many factors we need to consider on being a good dad:
- First, it takes God’s Grace and help to be a good and responsible dad. That is the truth, even though, many may disagree. What about the popular star, rich mogul, or these and those known men, who do not know God but they are good dads. Are or were they really? What are the criteria of being a good dad? They are able to provide for their families? Good but that is because they have money ! They are able to take their children to games, children’s shows and events etc. Beautiful, all children deserve such unconditional support. What about dads, who cannot do those things, not because they are wicked, but their work nature would not allow them, their pockets would not allow them, and even their situations would not allow them? Do that make them bad dads? Not all. Either for rich or struggling dads, it takes God’s Grace to be a good dad.
- Who are the good dad examples we use to judge other dads, whether they are good dads or not? Scripted dads in those emotional and great movies? A country’s president? A popular star? A rich dad, whose children turn good? A popular and wealthy religious leaders? These people, if you take away their affluence, wealth, riches, popularity, and connections from them, will they still be “our version” of their good dads? Many may still, but many may not because they too will be exposed to many factors that many typical dads are exposed and which compete with their abilities to reflect the society’s assumed criteria of a good dad.
- Okay, the facts that many dads are not rich or do not have better jobs to meet all the needs of their children and families should not be excused for being bad dads based on some assumed criteria of a good dad. You may not be able to provide or meet all the needs of your families, that does not make you a bad dad ! There are many ways to be a good dad, which is beyond material things ! An Example is this: you may not have privilege and connection that can buy your children spot in elite schools and colleges, but you have God-given opportunities to ensure your kids have some learning to improve their academic skills and compete for merit-based spots in the same elite colleges. Even though if they could not get into elite colleges, and you support and encourage them to be diligent to understand and perform on the colleges’ subjects in any good colleges they enter, you are a good dad in that sense !
- Many assumed or labelled bad dads are not really bad dads, they simply struggle with some strong factors. Besides abusive and totally irresponsible dads, many dads are faced with some factors that prevent them from being the best their children and families expected as good dads. Although doing nothing to try your best to being best dads to your children is not good enough, and not an excuse of being irresponsible and bad dads, there are some factors that most dads need to deal with first, if they can, or to receive help, if necessary. Low-income, necessary workload and associated stress, marriage problem, legal issues, and poor health status are among many top factors that can prevent many dads from being the “good dads” that children and society expect. However, while these factors may take long to tackle or may be difficult to be tackled, they should not be excuse for being bad dads – abusive, totally irresponsible, selfish, unkind dads, who lack pure effort for trying to be the best they could be for their children and families.
